End of Form 1

Life is as always, an adventure. As we embark on the year end holiday that is given to us every end of the year, it also marks the end of our first year of High School ( well, tenically, its the first year of Middle School but in Malaysia, we call it Sekolah Menegah or Sekolah Tinggi, which can be translated as High School)

End of the first year of going into a new school, meeting new friends. New teachers, new foes. It is, afterall, a big adventure that most of us are lucky enough to go on. I myself have witness many changes in myself

I have suddenly developed the urge to grow taller and have a six pac, have this obbsession on Yaoi, which is considered something forbidden for my religion, have become a hardcore otaku that can go on talking for hours about the animes that I really like, such as Katekyo Hitman Reborn and Kuroshitsuji. I also have discovered that I am a Bisexual, meaning that I don't really care about gender when it comes to love.

As such, I have also developed into a human that doesn't really show his own feelings but will explode in tears and rage when provoked to a level where I can't take it. I once got sick ( well, just a slight cold that no one noticed) because I cried while in the shower and ended up soaking in cold water for 30 minutes and I then broke down in my room, whispering that no one loved me and I was pathetic so no one cared for me. I couldn't even get the person that I have liked since I was 10.

How pathethic am I? A heck of a lot.

If I am going to bore you to death, then you may leave. The world has enough haters. Kindly get the fuck out of my blog and begone with you.

I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be cared for. I felt like the world was crashing down on me and no one else could rescue me. I didn't even tell my friends about it. I wanted some one to look at me enough so that they notice that I was different from before.

I was very depressed and even thought of killing myself...or just killing Alois Trancy over and over again in my head but I guess Claude beat me to it! HAHA! YAY FOR CLAUDE!

Nah, I was never a person to get suicidal, even if I have only lived for 13 years. Sure I was depressed but I never had the tendency to kill myself because it was stupid.

I really need someone to talk to and someone to...I don't know? Be a shoulder to cry on or whatever that shit is called. I am alone in the world, no one can fully understand me, people talk about me behind my back and what am I supposed to do?

Just keep quiet? Just pretend that I don't know or notice? I am doing that now. And it only works for 20% of the time. Why is it so hard for me to have a perfectly happy life?

Maybe it was supposed to make me stronger in the long run? Well then, no shit Sherlock, it ain't working!

As I sit down at my usual spot with my drawings around me and a stack of blank A4 paper in my file, I thinking, what the hell am I going to draw next.

I've already done 10 of the Major Archana tarot card deck and I've finished the drawing about the growth of Sano and finally deciding on what he/she looks like in the distant future, vamped up Bran's Scyth to make it look as if I was bleeding from the skull at the end of it's staff and make Zachary look even more girly than he already is...and now I face myself with the biggest problem...in like a year.

How to colour Hibari's hair in a potrait by only using an Artline 250 0.4?

Yes, I am that fussy when it comes to blacks! Everything that is black NEEDS to be coloured with a gel pen or marker. No matter what the consuqueses

Your friend,

Seiichiro Sano